The writing assignment

 The writing assignment

The easy life

On Woman’s day, the thought that has really stuck to my head since morning is how easier it is as a man in this world & especially being in India. If you really think about it, as a man the only expectation from you is to go out & earn a living. No one judges you as a husband, father, son, son-in-law. All you really need to do is finish your education & be capable enough to earn a decent living, get into the flow of things & carry on till you retire. The routine generally is to get up in the morning, get ready for office, work for 9-10 hrs, come home, relax, have dinner & sleep. And life keeps getting better with time.

Compare this to a women’s life. Probably till about getting graduated from college the life of a girl & boy run in parallel, but post marriage it takes a different turn. You now inherit probably a 30 year old child to take care of, teach basics of cleanliness in most cases and are supposed to take care of the entire house with 3 meals to be cooked & earn a living as well.  Imagine this, by the time a man wakes up in the morning, the lady of the house would have already done 25% of her work and by the time both end the work in office, it is just about 75% of the day that the lady has completed. She heads home to cook & feed her family, sit with her children to take up their studies & if you have a husband like me clean the house again. And after all this get judged by everyone around as a wife, mother, daughter-in-law.

I used to find cooking not much of job until I had to cook & feed me for 6 months while at onsite. Of the 6 months, where all I had to do is cook for myself for 3 times a day, more than 60% of the time I was eating frozen parathas or at subway and imagine here is a person who does this activity day in and out for all 7 days without a break on weekends, tirelessly & with a smile on her face (well most of the time).

When her kid gets hurt while playing or scores poorly in school, she is the one who has to live with the guilt day in and out, if it happened because she is not giving enough time at home. Do you think she is happy giving up the onsite opportunity, which is deserved, but she does it with a smile and passes on to her male counterpart, it was all because she could be there for her family. On the contrary, a man never has to make these choices, he never has this guilt. He never has to refuse an opportunity because there is a better half with him who makes these sacrifices.

Talking about this or saying a few words of encouragement is not enough. There are numerous other subtle ways to incorporate this into our everyday life. We, as men, given the easier life have a responsibility and should look for opportunities to make it a tad easier for her. Few smaller gestures like telling your team lead after the 7.30pm call to go home & you will send out the minutes email, or dropping or picking a colleague from her home even if it is a little off your route, when you are at onshore ensuring your female colleagues do not have to stay late, if weekend work is necessary make sure you ask her to take a day off during the week, even smallest acts like letting a lady cross the road by slowing down the vehicle you drive means a lot. Encourage her to achieve things she deserves and scale higher heights.

So my urge is to imbibe this thought in your mind, that you as a man have an easier life and it is your duty to support your female colleagues, not because they needs your support but because god has let go easy at least for this lifetime.

Happy woman’s day!!

Takes of life

So here is life, right. You are just breezing through it, sitting in a random flight on a random Monday traveling to a random destination, working on a random project for a random company. Taking decisions everyday moving from one randomness to another without really thinking what you want and where you want to be. That’s typically all of us, right? Or maybe not. People may be focused and know what they want in life, but probably not me. Every ones in a while you meet a person who does things differently. Now by different it doesn’t essentially mean someone who has left the so called corporate life or has set up his/her own shop or probably has taken up writing a novel, but someone who has figured out what they want from life and how they want to live it, not worried about the mundane things like salary offers, job descriptions, career, money, buying a house but really where life needs to head to. You know it when you speak to a person like that who thinks beyond money and a perfect life.

So, here is the typical life for many like me, right. Before you know, you are out of school which I probably remember is only about playing cricket on summer afternoon’s and watching porn for the first time J And before you know, you have completed your engineering with a job in the so called IT MNC and you as per the society are “set”, you just need to follow the path and success is yours. And quiet true, success in life’s terms today is owning a loan free home, driving a sedan (typically a Honda City :) ) and probably an iPhone with obviously a kid (or 2 if you are truly a perfectionist) from a woman with whom you might have absolutely nothing in common and most obvious is living abroad.

After an interesting conversation with my brother the other week, with whom I was discussing about not being too happy being in US, pointed out that he had always heard me wanting to go to the US. And that’s when it really hit me. Probably this is what I always wanted and you know what now that I have it, I truly do not want it.

The only anomaly to my life to this point of how things have turned out is marrying someone who I truly wanted to. It was definitely not in the “Grand Scheme of things” as per the rules laid out, but somewhere somehow I found the strength to be strong in one of the decisions which I can call my own. What next, right? What did I learn from my own life so far and what can I do next. At the end of the day I am professionally a consultant, where I make my living out of understanding clients AS-IS processes and suggesting them the best way to improve. SO the question remains, what would I consult myself to do looking back at my 30 years of life.

Take 1:

Let life take its own course, I am on the so called perfect path laid by everyone else but not me. After all that’s the proven path to “Success”. I make decent money working for a decent company and sincerely do love the work I do. So, go on get a Green Card followed by a citizenship in the “Land of opportunities”, have kids – probably 2  (just in case one turns out like me), buy a house, earn more, try move up the corporate ladder by sacrificing family time, Be mechanical, unemotional as if I have no parents or brother and their lives don’t matter as long as I am sending a fixed sum every month. And then probably a max of 10-15 years when even that responsibility goes away forever. Get involved with your kids, focus on their education, marriage and then retire at 60 with a beautiful house and a luxury car (prefer a Tesla :) ). All this sounds so good, probably a male version of a fairy tale.

But the real issue is, you don’t really need to live that life, all you need to do is look around. You will see enough people living through this beautiful life around you. And the truth is I can’t stand it. Each time I speak to someone who says that a Green Card is the most important thing I feel like puking. Not that they are wrong but it just gets to me and I can’t stand the thought.

One of the big reasons why I had this big American dream is because my dad wanted me to do it or probably I felt charmed watching the Hollywood movies. Not sure which one is it. And obviously my dad wanted me to have a good comfortable life and was supportive of me trying to get to US via a GRE or through an Onsite. But last month when he called me at 2.30 am India time and tells me “Come back Son”. He never said that he missed me or anything, probably his male ego stopped him from saying that.

Take 2:

Does it even matter what it is. Life gives you one chance to lead it just one single way and obviously no one gets out of it alive. You definitely don’t get to live the moment a 2^nd time in a different way. So the question is Do we choose the same comfortable random life or something which you choose and be with people that matter to you instead of a perfect life.

The question is if I meet myself couple of years from now, shall I call myself as that guy who knew exactly what he wanted and is above money & comforts of life, has a life truly figured out and did not live how others wanted him to.

Happiness

 Why do we feel something bad, really bad is going to happen the moment you are happy. What is this fear that we carry around which stops us from enjoying the good that happens to us, and achievement probably as a result of years of hard work, something which you might have desired or deserved for a very long time, a news which you were waiting for months or years to hear. In the era, where you publicly announce even if you sneeze and send a pic of every dog you find on the street, why does sharing or even knowing something good has happened to you feels like a bad omen.

As the old adage goes, even the walls have ears, even in the closed rooms you fear discussing a good news and enjoy with whole heart and soul may somehow be the precursor of the bad things about to happen. You don’t want the word to leave the room or fall on people ears, who may not wish good for you. What it essentially does is dampen the whole celebrations around a happy news, try to tone it down to a level that people don’t or should not notice. Why can’t people be just happy listening to good news to a family or a friend? Is it in our nature to find happiness in someone’s misfortune, or is it just competition as to who reaches where first or does it the quickest. Why have we become beings of unhappiness and jealously. Why can’t we be happy in the most sincere way for someone or something?

Probably, no one really cares about anyone or anything anymore; it has become more about having likes and doing check-ins on Facebook to get people jealous, without realizing that someone somewhere must be getting upset because of those one line updates. Have we become so small in reacting with jealousy or is it just our inner fear, which always assumes that someone is always thinking negative; the optimist in me wants to think it as the 2^nd.

Life is short, too short to be unhappy about anything or anyone. Of the millions of people who live, it is the few 10s that we know off, be sincere to these people, be passionate about the relations you have and be happy. How difficult is it to emit positivity in every line you speak, it is nothing but a habit. The more you practice it, the better you become and the less you do it, the harder it becomes. You don’t need to save your best for the really close ones. Act selflessly, do something where you have zero benefit in the outcome and do it repeatedly. Life does become a happier place for you and everyone who interacts with you.

Don’t be the person, who the other is scared to share happy news with, if they think it brings bad omen then it simply implies you need to change. There is a lot to improve and I guess the trick is very simple, observe how and when people tell a good news, is it at the junction when telling it is inevitable and everyone has to know or are you among the firsts to know it and is often accompanied by the statement “Don’t share it with others as yet”.

These are very subtle cues, which people give you, but learning from it is important. And every such interaction is a learning opportunity, to be a better human and to improve you.

If you are surrounded by such good positive individuals you will be the first to enjoy your own happy news with a tear of happiness. Being happy is not that difficult if you really think about it.

Ma (anager)- Gadhe IT industry ke

Maa (in real world) = Manager (in IT world)

Music begins…

 

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin

Par SAP Se Darta Hoon Main Maa

Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin

Project ki Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa

IT me kaam kerta hoon, Hain Na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Meri Maa

 

Meetings me Mein Yun Na Chodo Mujhe

Bay Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Maa

Bhej Na ONSITE Mujkko Tu

Appraisals me Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon Maa

Kya Itna GADHA Hoon Main Maa

Kya Itnaaaa gadha Meri Maa

 

Jab Bhi Kabhi Big Boss Mujhe

Jo har Weekend pe office bulate Hain Maa

Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe

Sochu Yahi, Tu Aa Ke rokegi Maa

 

Unse Main Yeh Kehta Nahin

Par Dimaag ki dahi ho Jaati Hai na Maa

Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin

Dil Hi Dil Mein Galiyata Hoon Maa

Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai Naa Maa

Comp off to dena meri Maa

 

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin

Par Kaam karne Se Darta Hoon Main Maa

Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin

Documentation to me he Karta Hoon na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa(anager)

 

• IT peedit poet J

A funny incident

Now, the interesting thing about putting the word FUNNY in the title is, it raises the expectation of the text written below and by the end most certainly it won't be funny any longer. But still this is the best possible title I could actually think of. So, here it goes:

This particular incident happened somewhere around my 3^rd of Engineering. More on that later but a bit of background before that. I always had this habit of copying stuff from somewhere and putting it somewhere else as my own. As people who know me, already know how crappy my writing is. Things were much worse than they are now (w.r.t my writing). So…. I adapted!!!

My first attempt at plagiarism (creative writing if looked from my perspective) started when I was in 6^th std or somewhere around that, when I copied Harivansh Rai Bachchan's poem "Aa Rahi Ravi Ki
Savaari" and replaced only the word "RAVI" with "SURAJ" in the entire poem… So my poem became "Aa Rahi suraj ki savaari". I was proud of myself as the poem looked spectacular. Submitted it to my Hindi teacher (whom, I expected not to notice. After all, my innocent mind never thought anyone would be knowing some dude called Harivansh Rai Bachchan). Now expecting appreciation I was eagerly waiting for my teacher to call me, but that call never came. Instead my parents were called to school and rest is history. After this I realized Harivansh Rai Bachchan was not just another dude, who none knew.

My second attempt, was in 11^th std. U see some habits never get cured. This time I see a nice little fiction story written in my brother's school magazine. Found it very interesting and copiable J. So next, my school magazine invites people to submit articles to be published. So, I did what a respectable gentleman should do, Copied the story, changed name of characters to that of my class mates(to look authentic) and submitted. And what happens when the magazine comes out, the story gets published on the 1^st page. Instant celebrity status, only to get abused by the classmates who's name were mentioned. That was OK but now, problem arose when one of the teacher, whose child was studying in my bro's school had already read the story… The rest is again history…

Then I joined Engg… J My skills were put to best use here. So, coming to the final funny incident which I had intended to write. There was this social club in my college called LEO club and TOI used to print these poems in their editorials under the Title ,"The Speaking Tree". I guess rest of the incident can be understood with just this information, but I still will continue my story. So again, the same thing happens, LEO club invites all students to submit articles for its college magazineJ. I normally don't understand most of the poems, in general (may be bcoz I hardly get the metaphors used), but this poem in the SPEAKING TREE "seemed" spectacular (as I couldn't understand it again). It was about some blind child taking a dried & rotten flower to a lady who was sad, only that the lady was so dumb that she didn't realize the child was blind, something like that.. So, I did again what I was good at, copied the whole poem, omitted a few stanzas (as it was very long) and signed below and sent in the entry. Was pretty sure people would have already read it in the newspaper and in no way would get selected.

But, here came the turning point. The General secretary/Chief Editor of the club calls a friend of mine and asks him if he could meet me. I said, "It will be difficult (as those days I had a very hectic schedule of sleeping and watching FRIENDS), but OK J ". So, I went to meet him all set to get abused for copying stuff and for thinking they were idiots etc etc. I meet this guys and believe it or not he was f*cking impressed with my writing. He asks me, if I had any other compilation. He was so floored with "my" style of writing. Said no way it was my first piece and that he and his club would love to do a complete publication of "my" work. Vaguely I remember some of the lines he said, "You must be maintaining a diary or something with your "other" compilations. what motivated u to write such a beautiful poem. how do you get such beautiful thoughts. I think u should leave engg and become a poet(ya right!!). You r so talented. Please promise me that next time u write something u will fwd it to me.. blah blah".. Now, unfortunately this fellow was a dude (only that I wished he was a pretty girl).. Anyways, I decide not to b a spoil sport and decided to play along. My replies were something like this, "Ya, I do have a dairy(not diary), but it's at home in Delhi. I just scribble at times, I don't think I am such a good writer(u see I was telling the truth here), sometimes I just sit alone and think about people & how they behave with the world outside, which gives me ideas for such poems. I think u just say this to flatter me. Ya sure will send u next time anything I write but can't promise if u would like it.. blah blah…"

In the end, I almost started thinking that all I need to do was just to write a novel and will directly get nominated for the booker's prize or may be b win it. So I go back home with my head held high and feeling like DiCaprio standing on the edge of Titanic… Proudly I tell my roomies abt the outstanding poem I wrote etc… told them just to wait till my poem is out in the publication. Finally after couple of weeks, the magazine wass out and surprisingly my AWESOME poem was not published. So, I ask a friend who knew the magazine editor , "What happened??" He just said 3 words ,"He Found OUT"……. And after that this editor guy never talked to me till the end of my Engg…. At times, I do wonder what he could have said had we met. J

After all these years have passed, I have decided to do what I am good at, professionally. I have joined the Great Indian IT Sector, and now I do ctrl+C and ctrl+V the whole day and get paid for it J

 

Life – A perspective

I have no idea why I am writing this, but still its just that moments which make u feel that there is something so special about the life u live. Sometimes everything goes just the way u want and just at the pace u want it to be and sometimes it's jus the opposite. The more u try and control it, it gets out of ur hand and the moment u stop thinking abt it, it just so right. And all in all I feel it's just the perspective that make the moment so special and so worth living. It's those instances which make u feel u feel ur so blessed and same that make u feel ur were never alive. Is it possible to control those, never. Why does it happen, I never no, and nor will I ever. Things happen because they have to happen.

No 1 instance lasts till eternity… An instance can be perceived as a good or a bad thing based on a single criteria, the PERSPECTIVE. Do u have control the external parameters, absolutely NO. DO u have control on how u react, may be.. but in general it's the uncertainty that makes life alive. If u take that out, life it makes life so certain, monotonous and obviously boring. Things could be so much better my thinking of the others perspective and just living the life as it comes along.

You could eat the best of the food and have the best day of ur life or u could watch the saddest vedio on Youtube and have the worst. Should I try and contro; these feeling, absolutely NO.. The point is "Whats the point…

For me, the best thing possible is be urself, try and enjoy the moment and get comfortable with the way u r!!! No one is better or worse than we r.. the only thing/person v r answerable to is something that looks back at u in the mirror.. Life is not all up and it's not all down… It's all a perspective of the place ur looking from.. So often I see people travelling in Honda Civic frustrated with their life and the person driving a 6 seater happy and contended. Everything that we wish and aspire for is nothing but a myth and blurred figure. The closer u gDet the more u feel, that this isn't the thing that I expected In here. But still that's life and that's the way we live.

Only thing required in life is the clarity of thought and nothing else. It's only u who understands what makes u happy in life and work on that and nothing else.

Have a life and enjoy everything u do!!!!!