Ma (anager)- Gadhe IT industry ke

Maa (in real world) = Manager (in IT world)

Music begins…

 

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin

Par SAP Se Darta Hoon Main Maa

Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin

Project ki Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa

IT me kaam kerta hoon, Hain Na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Meri Maa

 

Meetings me Mein Yun Na Chodo Mujhe

Bay Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Maa

Bhej Na ONSITE Mujkko Tu

Appraisals me Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon Maa

Kya Itna GADHA Hoon Main Maa

Kya Itnaaaa gadha Meri Maa

 

Jab Bhi Kabhi Big Boss Mujhe

Jo har Weekend pe office bulate Hain Maa

Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe

Sochu Yahi, Tu Aa Ke rokegi Maa

 

Unse Main Yeh Kehta Nahin

Par Dimaag ki dahi ho Jaati Hai na Maa

Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin

Dil Hi Dil Mein Galiyata Hoon Maa

Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai Naa Maa

Comp off to dena meri Maa

 

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin

Par Kaam karne Se Darta Hoon Main Maa

Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin

Documentation to me he Karta Hoon na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa(anager)

 

• IT peedit poet J

A funny incident

Now, the interesting thing about putting the word FUNNY in the title is, it raises the expectation of the text written below and by the end most certainly it won't be funny any longer. But still this is the best possible title I could actually think of. So, here it goes:

This particular incident happened somewhere around my 3^rd of Engineering. More on that later but a bit of background before that. I always had this habit of copying stuff from somewhere and putting it somewhere else as my own. As people who know me, already know how crappy my writing is. Things were much worse than they are now (w.r.t my writing). So…. I adapted!!!

My first attempt at plagiarism (creative writing if looked from my perspective) started when I was in 6^th std or somewhere around that, when I copied Harivansh Rai Bachchan's poem "Aa Rahi Ravi Ki
Savaari" and replaced only the word "RAVI" with "SURAJ" in the entire poem… So my poem became "Aa Rahi suraj ki savaari". I was proud of myself as the poem looked spectacular. Submitted it to my Hindi teacher (whom, I expected not to notice. After all, my innocent mind never thought anyone would be knowing some dude called Harivansh Rai Bachchan). Now expecting appreciation I was eagerly waiting for my teacher to call me, but that call never came. Instead my parents were called to school and rest is history. After this I realized Harivansh Rai Bachchan was not just another dude, who none knew.

My second attempt, was in 11^th std. U see some habits never get cured. This time I see a nice little fiction story written in my brother's school magazine. Found it very interesting and copiable J. So next, my school magazine invites people to submit articles to be published. So, I did what a respectable gentleman should do, Copied the story, changed name of characters to that of my class mates(to look authentic) and submitted. And what happens when the magazine comes out, the story gets published on the 1^st page. Instant celebrity status, only to get abused by the classmates who's name were mentioned. That was OK but now, problem arose when one of the teacher, whose child was studying in my bro's school had already read the story… The rest is again history…

Then I joined Engg… J My skills were put to best use here. So, coming to the final funny incident which I had intended to write. There was this social club in my college called LEO club and TOI used to print these poems in their editorials under the Title ,"The Speaking Tree". I guess rest of the incident can be understood with just this information, but I still will continue my story. So again, the same thing happens, LEO club invites all students to submit articles for its college magazineJ. I normally don't understand most of the poems, in general (may be bcoz I hardly get the metaphors used), but this poem in the SPEAKING TREE "seemed" spectacular (as I couldn't understand it again). It was about some blind child taking a dried & rotten flower to a lady who was sad, only that the lady was so dumb that she didn't realize the child was blind, something like that.. So, I did again what I was good at, copied the whole poem, omitted a few stanzas (as it was very long) and signed below and sent in the entry. Was pretty sure people would have already read it in the newspaper and in no way would get selected.

But, here came the turning point. The General secretary/Chief Editor of the club calls a friend of mine and asks him if he could meet me. I said, "It will be difficult (as those days I had a very hectic schedule of sleeping and watching FRIENDS), but OK J ". So, I went to meet him all set to get abused for copying stuff and for thinking they were idiots etc etc. I meet this guys and believe it or not he was f*cking impressed with my writing. He asks me, if I had any other compilation. He was so floored with "my" style of writing. Said no way it was my first piece and that he and his club would love to do a complete publication of "my" work. Vaguely I remember some of the lines he said, "You must be maintaining a diary or something with your "other" compilations. what motivated u to write such a beautiful poem. how do you get such beautiful thoughts. I think u should leave engg and become a poet(ya right!!). You r so talented. Please promise me that next time u write something u will fwd it to me.. blah blah".. Now, unfortunately this fellow was a dude (only that I wished he was a pretty girl).. Anyways, I decide not to b a spoil sport and decided to play along. My replies were something like this, "Ya, I do have a dairy(not diary), but it's at home in Delhi. I just scribble at times, I don't think I am such a good writer(u see I was telling the truth here), sometimes I just sit alone and think about people & how they behave with the world outside, which gives me ideas for such poems. I think u just say this to flatter me. Ya sure will send u next time anything I write but can't promise if u would like it.. blah blah…"

In the end, I almost started thinking that all I need to do was just to write a novel and will directly get nominated for the booker's prize or may be b win it. So I go back home with my head held high and feeling like DiCaprio standing on the edge of Titanic… Proudly I tell my roomies abt the outstanding poem I wrote etc… told them just to wait till my poem is out in the publication. Finally after couple of weeks, the magazine wass out and surprisingly my AWESOME poem was not published. So, I ask a friend who knew the magazine editor , "What happened??" He just said 3 words ,"He Found OUT"……. And after that this editor guy never talked to me till the end of my Engg…. At times, I do wonder what he could have said had we met. J

After all these years have passed, I have decided to do what I am good at, professionally. I have joined the Great Indian IT Sector, and now I do ctrl+C and ctrl+V the whole day and get paid for it J

 

Life – A perspective

I have no idea why I am writing this, but still its just that moments which make u feel that there is something so special about the life u live. Sometimes everything goes just the way u want and just at the pace u want it to be and sometimes it's jus the opposite. The more u try and control it, it gets out of ur hand and the moment u stop thinking abt it, it just so right. And all in all I feel it's just the perspective that make the moment so special and so worth living. It's those instances which make u feel u feel ur so blessed and same that make u feel ur were never alive. Is it possible to control those, never. Why does it happen, I never no, and nor will I ever. Things happen because they have to happen.

No 1 instance lasts till eternity… An instance can be perceived as a good or a bad thing based on a single criteria, the PERSPECTIVE. Do u have control the external parameters, absolutely NO. DO u have control on how u react, may be.. but in general it's the uncertainty that makes life alive. If u take that out, life it makes life so certain, monotonous and obviously boring. Things could be so much better my thinking of the others perspective and just living the life as it comes along.

You could eat the best of the food and have the best day of ur life or u could watch the saddest vedio on Youtube and have the worst. Should I try and contro; these feeling, absolutely NO.. The point is "Whats the point…

For me, the best thing possible is be urself, try and enjoy the moment and get comfortable with the way u r!!! No one is better or worse than we r.. the only thing/person v r answerable to is something that looks back at u in the mirror.. Life is not all up and it's not all down… It's all a perspective of the place ur looking from.. So often I see people travelling in Honda Civic frustrated with their life and the person driving a 6 seater happy and contended. Everything that we wish and aspire for is nothing but a myth and blurred figure. The closer u gDet the more u feel, that this isn't the thing that I expected In here. But still that's life and that's the way we live.

Only thing required in life is the clarity of thought and nothing else. It's only u who understands what makes u happy in life and work on that and nothing else.

Have a life and enjoy everything u do!!!!!

Am I an "outsider" in India

After having stayed in 6 states in India over my life of 26 odd years, and most of it outside "my" native state, slowly I have come to realize that I no longer belong to any part of the country, making me simply an "outsider" in each state I go. Yes, I do have an Indian passport and might not have been out of the Indian soil for more than 1 week and of course, I do pay my taxes to the Indian govt., but still everywhere I look, there's only 1 glance I get, "You don't belong here".

Pretext to this blog is 1 small incidence that occurred today and lasted for something like 2 min, but the impact was so huge that it has actually changed the way I look at people now. So the incident goes on like this, my 1^st day in Pune after a gap of 3 full years, the place where I lived for close to 6 years, completed my education, started my first job here, in short I love this place and it's like my home away from home. Time: Evening 5 O'clock, getting out of my hotel on an Activa as a pillion rider. The moment we get out of the hotel, some random guy in his early 40s was driving thru and we on Activa couldn't see him coming, as a result he had to slow down his bike. No harm done, things could have ended then and there. But, nope that wasn't to be. This fellow makes it a point to give us a mouthful on the way he passes and when we try to react, this dude stops his bike and gets aggressive. Our only reaction was, "Dude, its ok, we accept it's our fault". This guy, gives us a glance, understanding that we don't belong here and are "outsiders", gets further aggressive and looks for some reason to pick up a fight, that one glance said it all, give me one reason, just one reason and I will show you what I can do to u bloody "outsiders". Thankfully my fellow rider calms things down and cools the situation. No bad words uttered, no punches thrown, nothing, just 1 single look. The look that I guess Hitler had for Jews or whatever, clearly shouted out 1 thing, "Get the F*** out of my land else I will KILL you" and he meant it. It's not just the fear of getting harmed physically but that one glance of hatred, frustration and insult that makes it unbearable.

Had the situation been reversed, at the most I could have given is a casual gesture as to what r u doing, just drive safely. I always had this assumption that only in worst situation people get into a fight and try hurt someone, but I guess I was so wrong. Only a single normal word uttered there was sufficient to get stabbed. And this ain't the situation just in Pune, be it Mumbai, Ghaziabad, Bangalore, Chennai or even Kerala, it's the same treatment for every "outsider". 2 days back I read an article in the paper, a guy (obviously an "outsider") standing in the balcony of his rented apartment gets spitted on by the people staying above his place, he goes upstairs to ask what the hell was that and what does he get in return, gets beaten black& blue and a few fractured bones. What exactly is our fault here, is it a crime to travel to a different city in your own country to get a job, is it a crime to study in a college of different city. We pay our taxes, we pay our credit card bills on time, we even get an NOC while transferring our vehicle, still it's the same treatment, not just from the "local" uneducated people who beat their wives and children, do no work other than following self-centered politicians, but also the law enforcers, the traffic police everyone. Here, when "I" is mentioned, it's not just me about whom it's been talked about; it's about the general people like me, 26 year old young professionals/college students across the country.

We are considered anti-social in any place we go. To the world, we are portrayed as a young country with average age of 24 and this is the treatment we get. What exactly is wrong with people? Is it such a big fault to be a law abiding, non-violent citizen? We read in papers pretty frequently that an Indian gets beaten in Australia, how about the treatment we get in our own country. It's not just about the physical harm that's been caused but the hatred that is being nurtured and supported by the "locals". It's not our fault that we have worked our way up in life and are better than them intellectually and financially, and this is their way to react and show who rules here. Survival of the fittest has a new meaning now, where fittest meaning the mob or a local group. I guess our only fault is, we fall in the 20% tax bracket and consider ourselves "Indians" rather than a Marathi or Telugu or Malayali or Tamil…

Slowly and painfully I realize life is not just about being happy and making people happy around you..

Bhasad Explained...

Before starting my epic attempt to explain BHASAD, let me just give u a brief context as to my rationale of writing this. So, it all started with a regular office chain mail, where in an IMTian mentioned the word BHASAD and the larger ignorant group of naive MBAs from other B-Schools, unable to comprehend what the word meant. Hence, I took the onus of explaining them what Bhasad is and to enlighten them to one of the historic words which is,was and will be repeated umpteen number of times in IMT. While reading the blog just keep in mind that it's not written for IMTian but the others. :)

So Bhasad… Bhasad is a cult word that we used so frequently in IMT that it became almost synonymous to the word GLOBAL (another CULT word @ IMT). In fact, it can be safely assumed that Bhasad was the most "Global" word ever invented at IMT. Absolutely anything which is wonderfully and awesomely useless in one person’s eyes and truly spectacular in the view of the other could come in the purview of the word Bhasad.. Bhasad is a superset of all the good, bad, not so good and to an extend even meaningless actions that can/cannot be performed by a human…

In fact the beauty of the word Bhasad is that even trying to explain all u guys what bhasad is another Bhasad..

Bhasad can be used in many forms.. as a verb, noun, adjective and all other forms as well. To give u an example: if u want to use Bhasad as a verb we can say: “Ye kya Bhasad hai” meaning “What the F… is this” or “Bhasad kyu macha rahe ho” meaning “Why the hell are u guys acting like Crazy”
As a noun, the example could be : “Ye saab Bhasadi kutte hai” implying :This is a group of mad/idiotic/stupid group of dogs(symbolizing group of people behaving like dogs)"
As an Adjective: I have no idea what an adjective is.. in case any of u know, tell me.. I will frame a sentence with it :)

Bhasad also has many other meaning For eg: “An Event” --> “Yaha Bhasad hone wali hai” .. here it could mean a fight or a much anticipated event or a very happy occasion or anything else.
Bhasad could also be used as a replacement for many vulgar and unruly word like F word in English (as explained above) or the C word in hindi..

This word can also be used in a confusing way when u don’t want a person being talked to it understand whether u have praised him or kicked his ass.. For ex: “ Gazab Bhasadi presentation di tumne..”. This word also very well fits in situation where u want to use irony or sarcasm or even for being a hypocrite.

Now there is another angle or dimension to the word as well.. There is a very thin line between using it in a positive or negative way.. For ex: when u say "Kya Bhasadi launda hai".. it's always in a positive sense implying that the guy is really cool in our eyes (but may not be in the eyes of professor or higher management, but still..). Where as if I or someone else tries to use it no himself, then it gives a very negative connotation. For ex: "Me bahut bada Bhasadi hoon".. this doesn't imply that ur cool and awesome, but the listener simply feels that ur a moron trying to be someone and something you can only dream to be.. so beware.. never use it for self- praising or self admiration...

Now another important point is where ever or whenever u write the word Bhasad, make sure that the 1st alphabet "B" is always in capital...No matter where it is use, just after the full stop or even in between... that's just for giving respect to the word and bowing to its awesomeness...

I can go on and on.. but I guess everyone is now aware the main point that I was trying to convey.. The word BHASAD is LEGEND.. wait for it... DARY...

Now this whole chain of events is called BHASAD MACHANA..

Disclaimer: Also, after reading this blog any misuse of the word Bhasad is a punishable offense. So beware.. For sny further clarification contact ur nearest IMTian and get the doubts clarified

PS: My fellow IMTians r requested to add to the definition of the word and forgive me if i have committed any errors in the explanation of something that always brings back the memory of our IMT days..

BHASAD MACHAO.. IMT Aaoo!!!!