So here is life, right. You are just breezing through it,
sitting in a random flight on a random Monday traveling to a random
destination, working on a random project for a random company. Taking decisions
everyday moving from one randomness to another without really thinking what you
want and where you want to be. That’s typically all of us, right? Or maybe not.
People may be focused and know what they want in life, but probably not me.
Every ones in a while you meet a person who does things differently. Now by
different it doesn’t essentially mean someone who has left the so called corporate
life or has set up his/her own shop or probably has taken up writing a novel,
but someone who has figured out what they want from life and how they want to
live it, not worried about the mundane things like salary offers, job
descriptions, career, money, buying a house but really where life needs to head
to. You know it when you speak to a person like that who thinks beyond money
and a perfect life.
So, here is the typical life for many like me, right. Before
you know, you are out of school which I probably remember is only about playing
cricket on summer afternoon’s and watching porn for the first time J And before you know,
you have completed your engineering with a job in the so called IT MNC and you
as per the society are “set”, you just need to follow the path and success is
yours. And quiet true, success in life’s terms today is owning a loan free
home, driving a sedan (typically a Honda City :)
) and probably an iPhone with obviously a kid (or 2 if you are truly a perfectionist)
from a woman with whom you might have absolutely nothing in common and most
obvious is living abroad.
After an interesting conversation with my brother the other
week, with whom I was discussing about not being too happy being in US, pointed
out that he had always heard me wanting to go to the US. And that’s when it
really hit me. Probably this is what I always wanted and you know what now that
I have it, I truly do not want it.
The only anomaly to my life to this point of how things have
turned out is marrying someone who I truly wanted to. It was definitely not in
the “Grand Scheme of things” as per the rules laid out, but somewhere somehow I
found the strength to be strong in one of the decisions which I can call my
own. What next, right? What did I learn from my own life so far and what can I
do next. At the end of the day I am professionally a consultant, where I make
my living out of understanding clients AS-IS processes and suggesting them the
best way to improve. SO the question remains, what would I consult myself to do
looking back at my 30 years of life.
Take 1:
Let life take its own course, I am on the so called perfect
path laid by everyone else but not me. After all that’s the proven path to “Success”.
I make decent money working for a decent company and sincerely do love the work
I do. So, go on get a Green Card followed by a citizenship in the “Land of
opportunities”, have kids – probably 2 (just
in case one turns out like me), buy a house, earn more, try move up the
corporate ladder by sacrificing family time, Be mechanical, unemotional as if I
have no parents or brother and their lives don’t matter as long as I am sending
a fixed sum every month. And then probably a max of 10-15 years when even that
responsibility goes away forever. Get involved with your kids, focus on their
education, marriage and then retire at 60 with a beautiful house and a luxury
car (prefer a Tesla :)
). All this sounds so good, probably a male version of a fairy tale.
But the real issue is, you don’t really need to live that
life, all you need to do is look around. You will see enough people living
through this beautiful life around you. And the truth is I can’t stand it. Each
time I speak to someone who says that a Green Card is the most important thing
I feel like puking. Not that they are wrong but it just gets to me and I can’t
stand the thought.
One of the big reasons why I had this big American dream is
because my dad wanted me to do it or probably I felt charmed watching the Hollywood
movies. Not sure which one is it. And obviously my dad wanted me to have a good
comfortable life and was supportive of me trying to get to US via a GRE or
through an Onsite. But last month when he called me at 2.30 am India time and
tells me “Come back Son”. He never said that he missed me or anything, probably
his male ego stopped him from saying that.
Take 2:
Does it even matter what it is. Life gives you one chance to
lead it just one single way and obviously no one gets out of it alive. You
definitely don’t get to live the moment a 2nd time in a different
way. So the question is Do we choose the same comfortable random life or
something which you choose and be with people that matter to you instead of a
perfect life.
The question is if I meet myself couple of years from now,
shall I call myself as that guy who knew exactly what he wanted and is above
money & comforts of life, has a life truly figured out and did not live how
others wanted him to.
